Lookout Valley March 14th 1864

Lookout Valley March 14th 1864

My Dear Boy
your letter of the 6th inst was received yesterday, I had heard a few days previous from Ann, of your Dear Mothers death, and the news came like a thunder clap in a cloudless day, for I had herd but a day or so previous that she was gaining and was indulging in the hope that at a not distant day our little family might be united and enjoy some of the comforts of life in each others society, but alas that can never be, for the polar star around which all our hopes & affections and all those sweet influences that makes home desirabley centered is stricken from its orbit leaving a blank that can never be filled, it is hard as you say, but she cannot be recalled and we must submit, And then to think that I could not be with her during her last illness or even to see her consigned to her last resting place.
I feel verry Lonely and discontented more so than I ever been before and sometimes think I will quit the service and go–whare–with no place to call home perhaps I am as contented here as I should be any whare and I feel at present that it was of small moment what became of me, but do not forget the admonitions and connsels of your dear mother, she reposed great confidence in your integrity and the uprightness of your intentions do not let that confidence be misplaced but remember her meny virtues and patern after them…
John C. Griswold